Will the Real Harry Potter please stand up
by Lestats Pants
Summary: Harry Potter explains why he is the one and only Real Harry POtter


|The Real Harry Potter | | | | |  
  
|{intro} | |May I have your attention please | |May I have your attention please | |Will the Real Harry Potter please stand up? | |I repeat, will the Real Harry Potter please stand up? | |We're gonna have a problem here... | |{verse 1} | |Ya'll act like you never seen a wizard before | |Jaws all on the floor like Fred and George just burst in | |the door | |Started whoopin Ron's ass worst than before | |they first were Gryffendors sold his old broomstick | |(scream) | |It's the return of the | |"Awww wait, no way, your kidding | |He didn't just cast what I think he did, did he?" | |And Voldemort said... | |Nothing you idiots Voldemort's dead he's locked in my | |basement (haha) | |Gay men love Harry Potter | |Chicka chicka chicka Harry Potter I'm sick of him | |Look at him walking around grabing his you-know-what | |Hatin' on you-know-who (yea but hes so cute though) | |Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head | |loose | |But no worse than whats going on in Snape's bedroom | |Sometimes I wanna get on Malfoy and let Loose, | |but can't, but it's cool for Hagrid to hump a dead moose | | | |"My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips | |And if im lucky u might just give it a little kiss" | |And that's the owl we deliver to little wizards | |and expect them not to know what a women's clitoris is | |Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is | |by the time they hit 2nd year , | |they got Hermoinie around don't they? | |We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals | |who curse other people open like canolopes | |But if we can hump dead balisks and antelopes | |then theres no reason that Harry Potter and another man | |can't elope (ughh) | |But if you feel like I feel I got the antadoite | |Lockhart wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus | |And it gooooesss | |(Refrain) | |I'm Harry Potter | |Yes I'm the real Potter | |All you other Harry Potters are just imitating | |So won't the real Harry Potter... | |Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up | |Cause I'm Harry Potter | |Yes I'm the Real Potter | |All you other Harry Potters are just imitating | |So won't the real Harry Potter... | |Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up | |{verse 2} | |Fred and George don't gotta cuss to lose house points | |Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too | |You think I give a damn about a house cup? | |Half of you professors can't even stomach me, let alone | |stand me | |(but Harry what if u win wouldn't it be weird?) | |Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here? | |So you can sit me here next to Milichent Bulstrode | |shit Oliver Wood better switch me chairs | |So I can sit next to Neville and Crabbe | |And hear them argue over who she gave head to first | |Little bitch put me on blast on MTV | |(yea hes cute but I think he's doin Ron, hehe) | |I should cast up a curse on my phoenix core wand | |And show the whole world how you gave Harry Potter | |head(scream) | |I'm sick of you little green Slytheryns all you do is | |annoy me | |So I been sent in here to destroy you | |And there's a million of us just like me | |Who cuss like me | |Who just don't give a fuck like me | |Who dress like me | |Walk, Talk and act like me | |It just might be the next best thing | |But not quite me | |(Refrain) | |{verse 3} | |I'm like a headtrip to listen to | |Cause I'm only giving you | |things you joke about with your friends inside your | |living room | |The only difference is I got the balls to say it In front| |of ya'll | |And I don't got to be false or sugar coat it at all | |I just get on the magic mike and spit it | |Wheather you like to admit it | |I'm better than 90% of you wizards out there | |Then you wanna know how can kids eat my books like shit | |Its funny cuz the rate im going when I'm 30 | |I'll be the only person in Azkaban flirting | |Pinching dementors asses when I'm *hard* jerkin I'm | |jerking | |But this whole bag of viagra isn't working | |And every single person is a Harry Potter lurkin | |He could be workin at the Hogwarts kitchen spitten on | |your sanwiches | |in the whomping willow circling | |screaming I don't give a fuck | |With his windows down and system up | |So will the real Harry Potter, please stand up | |and put one of those fingers on each hand up | |and to be proud to out of your mind and out of control | |and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? | |(Refrain) | 


End file.
